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Holding Zero

by Todd Portnowitz

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lyrics

The light sinks in,
slower than sound
lowering down,
slower than,

and the halogen is sodden in my head—
I couldn't feel my way from the couch
back to my bed.

The martyr's long dead,
got an ear full of flies
but the people won't rise,
the people won't,

and the consonants are toffee in my mouth—
I couldn't yawn my way from the bed
back to my couch.

I keep my compass on the late, great north
and I'm holding zero like it's all I'm living for
I'm holding zero like it's where I'm heading toward
and I'm not turning anymore.

The goddess of lead
hangs over my head
hangs over my bed,

and all my heavy prayers sink to the bottom of the sea—
and I'm wondering why the muddy floor
won't answer me.

I see a garden
in the golden hair
of a capillary sun,
and my knees are weak
and the leaves are soft
and there rings a gong
but I'm feeling like a flaw in the affluence.
How could this faith have beat my guard?
Blame it on my heart.

Constance is my law
I'm hanging up my jaw
and packing up my thoughts.

And the goneness of my goal
and the blindness of my road
is the awning on my soul.

And as long as I have [legs]
as long as I have lungs
God forbid I run.

Slept for days but the day won't come
and autumn won't burn
and the needle won't turn
the needle won't,

and the harder it gets hammered in my head
the less it feels like anything's been said.

credits

released January 16, 2015

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Todd Portnowitz image

Todd Portnowitz New York, New York

From 2004 - 2009 Todd Evan Portnowitz performed as singer/songwriter in the Florida band Clock Hands Strangle, recording two LPs, Redshift/Blueshift (2007 Team Grizzly) and Distaccati (2009 Chocolate Lab). He now performs and records as a solo artist out of New York, NY ... more

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